U nisa p\u00ebr udh\u00ebtim. Para se t\u00eb hipja n\u00eb aeroplan, m\u00eb telefonoi nj\u00eb vajz\u00eb. Pyetja e saj ishte rreth nj\u00eb personi t\u00eb s\u00ebmur\u00eb psiqikisht, i cili po kurohej me ila\u00e7e p\u00ebr s\u00ebmundjen e tij dhe ky person n\u00ebse shkon ta k\u00ebrkoj\u00eb ndonj\u00eb vajz\u00eb p\u00ebr fejes\u00eb, a do t\u00eb duhej ta lajm\u00ebronte familjen e vajz\u00ebs p\u00ebr gjendjen e tij sh\u00ebndet\u00ebsore, duke marr\u00eb parasysh faktin se s\u00ebmundja e tij llogaritet e met\u00eb.<\/p>\n
P\u00ebrgjigjja ime ishte: Po, detyrohet ta lajm\u00ebroj\u00eb familjen n\u00ebse ata nuk jan\u00eb t\u00eb njoftuar paraprakisht me gjendjen e tij.<\/p>\n
Vajza m\u00eb tha: \u201cUn\u00eb jam e martuar me nj\u00eb person t\u00eb sprovuar me s\u00ebmundje psikike. Ai, para se t\u00eb vinte ta k\u00ebrkonte dor\u00ebn time p\u00ebr fejes\u00eb, \u00ebsht\u00eb konsultuar me ty se a duhej t\u2019i tregonte familjes s\u00eb vajz\u00ebs p\u00ebr gjendjen e tij! Ti i ke th\u00ebn\u00eb se nuk e ka t\u00eb patjet\u00ebrsueshme ta lajm\u00ebroj\u00eb familjen time.\u201d<\/p>\n
Fjal\u00ebt e saj m\u00eb ran\u00eb si rrufe mbi kok\u00eb, u shtanga dhe u trondita, nuk dija si t\u2019i p\u00ebrgjigjesha dhe \u00e7far\u00eb t\u2019i thosha. Isha nisur p\u00ebr n\u00eb udh\u00ebtim dhe nuk kisha as koh\u00eb t\u2019i mendoja mir\u00eb fjal\u00ebt e saj, nd\u00ebrkoh\u00eb i thash\u00eb: Nuk m\u00eb kujtohet q\u00eb kjo ka ndodhur, sepse q\u00ebndrimi im p\u00ebr raste t\u00eb tilla \u00ebsht\u00eb i njohur dhe i qart\u00eb. Un\u00eb njeriun me s\u00ebmundje psikike e llogaris me t\u00eb meta, k\u00ebshtu q\u00eb shum\u00eb njer\u00ebz n\u00ebse e din\u00eb se ka probleme t\u00eb tilla, nuk ia japin vajz\u00ebn e tyre p\u00ebr grua.<\/p>\n
M\u2019i tha nj\u00eb s\u00ebr\u00eb fjal\u00ebsh qortimi, e la t\u00eb gjith\u00eb fajin mbi mua p\u00ebr at\u00eb q\u00eb i ndodhi dhe papritur ma mbylli telefonat\u00ebn.<\/p>\n
Dynjaja mu soll rreth e rrotull, ndjeva dhembje t\u00eb madhe dhe u ngushtova. Si mundem q\u00eb un\u00eb t\u00eb jem shkak p\u00ebr vuajtjen e k\u00ebsaj vajze?! U mundova ta kujtoja rastin se me t\u00eb v\u00ebrtet\u00eb a kishte ndodhur kjo prej meje. Nuk m\u00eb kujtohej gj\u00eb. Ajo q\u00eb e di p\u00ebr veten \u00ebsht\u00eb se harroj shum\u00eb, megjithat\u00eb, prap\u00ebseprap\u00eb, n\u00ebse mua nuk m\u00eb kujtohet rasti, kjo s\u2019do t\u00eb thot\u00eb se patjet\u00ebr rasti nuk ka ndodhur.<\/p>\n
Ky lloj i gabimit \u00ebsht\u00eb prej atij lloji q\u00eb nuk mund t\u00eb p\u00ebrmir\u00ebsohet, nd\u00ebrsa k\u00ebrkimfalja n\u00eb k\u00ebt\u00eb rast nuk ka ndonj\u00eb vler\u00eb, ngase k\u00ebrkimfalja nuk i leht\u00ebson gjurm\u00ebt e problemit, bile mund t\u2019i shtoj\u00eb n\u00eb shpirtin e njeriut.<\/p>\n
Kjo ngjarje ma kujtoi rastin e nj\u00eb t\u00eb riu i cili nuk e p\u00ebrmbante veten dhe nuk i kontrollonte dot l\u00ebvizjet e tij. Rasti pati ndodhur n\u00eb nj\u00eb dasm\u00eb n\u00eb prezenc\u00ebn time. At\u00eb nat\u00eb v\u00ebllai i t\u00eb porsamartuarit kishte veshur veshje q\u00eb i p\u00ebrshtatej rastit, nd\u00ebrkoh\u00eb ky i riu i cili nuk rrinte rehat, u p\u00ebrplas me personin q\u00eb i bartte gotat e \u00e7ajit dhe t\u00eb gjitha ato ran\u00eb mbi v\u00ebllan\u00eb e t\u00eb porsamartuarit. P\u00ebr t\u2019u befasuar ishte q\u00ebndrimi i t\u00eb riut, ve\u00e7 u kthye kah i v\u00ebllai i t\u00eb porsamartuarit dhe me shum\u00eb ftoh\u00ebsi i tha: \u201cK\u00ebrkoj falje\u201d, dhe pastaj iku.<\/p>\n
V\u00ebllai i t\u00eb sapomartuarit u ndal dhe me gjith\u00eb habi tha: \u201c\u00c7far\u00eb \u00ebsht\u00eb kjo? A k\u00ebshtu me shum\u00eb thjesht\u00ebsi m\u00eb thot\u00eb \u2018m\u00eb fal\u2019 dhe pastaj ik?!\u201d<\/p>\n
Llogaris q\u00eb rasti im me vajz\u00ebn nuk ishte m\u00eb pak i keq se rasti i k\u00ebtij t\u00eb riu, bile rasti im ishte m\u00eb i r\u00ebnd\u00eb, sepse kulmi i d\u00ebmit t\u00eb tij ishte q\u00eb v\u00ebllai i t\u00eb sapomartuarit t\u2019i nd\u00ebrronte rrobat q\u00eb ishin p\u00ebrlyer me \u00e7aj, nd\u00ebrsa un\u00eb me k\u00ebshill\u00ebn dhe mendimin tim, ndoshta, kam qen\u00eb shkaktar ta shkat\u00ebrroj nj\u00eb familje dhe ta shkat\u00ebrroj jet\u00ebn e nj\u00eb vajze e cila u martua me nj\u00eb t\u00eb s\u00ebmur\u00eb psikik. Po supozojm\u00eb q\u00eb pas martes\u00ebs s\u00eb saj ka arritur t\u00eb ndahet prej tij, megjithat\u00eb mund\u00ebsit\u00eb e saj p\u00ebr martes\u00eb me dik\u00eb tjet\u00ebr do t\u00eb ishin m\u00eb t\u00eb vogla.<\/p>\n
Koha po ecte n\u00eb aeroplan, a un\u00eb i p\u00ebrjetoja dhembjet e problemit dhe po mundohesha t\u2019i rezistoja m\u00ebrzis\u00eb. Pasi zbrita nga aeroplani, ia d\u00ebrgova vajz\u00ebs nj\u00eb mesazh, i k\u00ebrkova falje dhe i tregova se k\u00ebrkimfalja ime p\u00ebr rastin e saj nuk mjaftonte. Edhe nj\u00eb her\u00eb ia v\u00ebrtetova fjal\u00ebt se nuk m\u00eb kujtohej q\u00eb ndokujt i kisha th\u00ebn\u00eb ashtu, megjithat\u00eb n\u00ebse kishte dal\u00eb di\u00e7ka e till\u00eb prej meje, nuk mund t\u00eb ket\u00eb qen\u00eb m\u00eb shum\u00eb se nj\u00eb k\u00ebndv\u00ebshtrim dhe interpretim imi. Mesazhin q\u00eb ia d\u00ebrgova, nuk ma ktheu.<\/p>\n
– Nga natyra jam i till\u00eb q\u00eb kur konsultohem p\u00ebr raste t\u00eb ndjeshme, nuk anoj t\u00eb marr vendime t\u00eb guximshme, sikur t\u2019i them dikujt ta divorcoj\u00eb gruan e tij, apo ta drejtoj\u00eb gruan q\u00eb t\u00eb k\u00ebrkoj\u00eb divorc nga burri i saj, p\u00ebrve\u00e7 n\u00eb raste t\u00eb rralla kur e shoh domosdoshm\u00ebri si n\u00eb rastet e tradhtis\u00eb dhe t\u00eb ngjashmeve me t\u00eb. N\u00eb shumic\u00ebn e rasteve kujdesem t\u00eb mos e jap mendimin e prer\u00eb. P\u00ebr at\u00eb q\u00eb k\u00ebrkon nga un\u00eb ta k\u00ebshilloj, kjo nuk \u00ebsht\u00eb nga soji i tradhtis\u00eb, mir\u00ebpo mendimi i rrept\u00eb i ka pasojat e veta. Kur e k\u00ebshillon gruan t\u00eb b\u00ebj\u00eb durim me burrin e saj apo e k\u00ebshillon burrin t\u00eb b\u00ebj\u00eb durim me gruan e tij, edhe n\u00ebse k\u00ebshilla \u00ebsht\u00eb e gabuar n\u00eb k\u00ebt\u00eb rast, prap\u00ebseprap\u00eb pasojat i ka m\u00eb t\u00eb lehta se ta k\u00ebshillosh t\u00eb divorcohen.<\/p>\n
E nj\u00ebjta gj\u00eb \u00ebsht\u00eb kur nj\u00eb person konsultohet me ty p\u00ebr ta braktisur pun\u00ebn e tij apo p\u00ebr marrjen e nj\u00eb hapi t\u00eb ri n\u00eb jet\u00ebn e tij, ti duhet t\u00eb matesh mir\u00eb para se t\u00eb jap\u00ebsh mendim t\u00eb guximsh\u00ebm, sepse ka mund\u00ebsi t\u00eb ndikoj\u00eb p\u00ebr t\u00eb keq n\u00eb jet\u00ebn dhe t\u00eb ardhmen e tij.<\/p>\n
M\u00eb m\u00ebrziti shum\u00eb rasti i asaj vajze. Mendja m\u00eb rrinte aty dhe nuk po gjeja qet\u00ebsi. Derisa nj\u00eb dit\u00eb m\u00eb telefonoi t\u00eb m\u00eb k\u00ebrkonte falje dhe m\u00eb tha: \u201cE zbulova se nuk kishte qen\u00eb ashtu si mendoja, burri e pranoi dhe ma v\u00ebrtetoi se gjat\u00eb konsultimit me ty i ke th\u00ebn\u00eb se patjet\u00ebr duhet ta lajm\u00ebrosh familjen e vajz\u00ebs p\u00ebr gjendjen t\u00ebnde sh\u00ebndet\u00ebsore, megjithat\u00eb ai nuk ka punuar sipas k\u00ebshill\u00ebs sate.\u201d<\/p>\n
Fjal\u00ebt e saj ma larguan breng\u00ebn derisa mora frym\u00eb lirsh\u00ebm dhe thash\u00eb: Elhamdulilah (Fal\u00ebnderimi i takon Allahut)! Un\u00eb k\u00ebt\u00eb e di p\u00ebr veten dhe p\u00ebr k\u00ebt\u00eb \u00e7\u00ebshtje k\u00ebshtu mendoj. Vajz\u00ebn nuk e faj\u00ebsova fare p\u00ebr asnj\u00eb fjal\u00eb q\u00eb ma drejtoi, sepse, n\u00eb t\u00eb v\u00ebrtet\u00eb, po t\u00eb ishte kjo gj\u00eb ashtu si ajo mendonte, do t\u2019i kisha merituar m\u00eb shum\u00eb se ato fjal\u00eb q\u00eb m\u2019i tha.<\/p>\n
K\u00ebtu n\u00eb k\u00ebt\u00eb rast un\u00eb nuk pata asnj\u00eb faj, mir\u00ebpo si ndodhi m\u00eb tronditi shum\u00eb, derisa m\u00eb futi n\u00eb nj\u00eb pozit\u00eb t\u00eb mendoja q\u00eb kam r\u00ebn\u00eb n\u00eb gabim t\u00eb r\u00ebnd\u00eb q\u00eb nganj\u00ebher\u00eb bien disa. B\u00ebhet fjal\u00eb p\u00ebr \u00e7\u00ebshtjen e konsultimit q\u00eb disa nuk e marrin me seriozitet; p\u00ebr personin q\u00eb k\u00ebrkon k\u00ebshill\u00eb prej atij q\u00eb di, nd\u00ebrsa ky e d\u00ebgjon k\u00ebshill\u00ebn n\u00eb gjendje t\u00eb pap\u00ebrshtatshme dhe m\u00eb pas ngutet n\u00eb dh\u00ebnien e mendimit t\u00eb tij. E jep mendimin e tij duke ecur rrug\u00ebs, duke bler\u00eb, duke shfletuar lib\u00ebr, apo duke folur me shok\u00ebt e tij, k\u00ebshtu q\u00eb nuk i mendon mir\u00eb pasojat e mendimit q\u00eb e jep dhe gjurm\u00ebt e tij se si ndikojn\u00eb tek t\u00eb tjer\u00ebt.<\/p>\n
Ai q\u00eb e merr k\u00ebshill\u00ebn, ka besim t\u00eb madh te fjala e atij q\u00eb e jep k\u00ebshill\u00ebn, derisa e pranon pa e menduar apo pa e diskutuar at\u00eb n\u00eb shenj\u00eb respekti dhe besimi t\u00eb plot\u00eb p\u00ebr mendimin e k\u00ebshilluesit dhe p\u00ebrvoj\u00ebn s\u00eb tij t\u00eb gjat\u00eb.<\/p>\n
Ky fakt e ngarkon k\u00ebshilluesin me p\u00ebrgjegj\u00ebsi t\u00eb madhe, n\u00eb ve\u00e7anti, kur jan\u00eb n\u00eb pyetje mendimet e rrepta dhe situatat e ndjeshme. K\u00ebshilluesi duhet t\u00eb jet\u00eb i guximsh\u00ebm q\u00eb t\u00eb k\u00ebrkoj\u00eb koh\u00eb p\u00ebr t\u00eb menduar m\u00eb mir\u00eb (rreth konsult\u00ebs q\u00eb ia b\u00ebri personi) apo edhe t\u00eb k\u00ebrkoj\u00eb falje e mos t\u00eb jap\u00eb mendim fare.<\/p>\n
– Prej k\u00ebtij rasti m\u00ebsova se duhet ta d\u00ebgjoj mir\u00eb at\u00eb q\u00eb k\u00ebrkon t\u00eb konsultohet, t\u00eb ndalem gjat\u00eb para se t\u00eb jap \u00e7far\u00ebdolloj mendimi, t\u2019i marr parasysh detajet q\u00eb ndikojn\u00eb n\u00eb dh\u00ebnien e mendimit dhe t\u00eb pyes p\u00ebr to para se t\u2019ia paraqes mendimin tim atij q\u00eb k\u00ebrkon konsult\u00eb.<\/p>\n
– Dhe m\u00ebsova ta ngarkoj me p\u00ebrgjegj\u00ebsi at\u00eb q\u00eb k\u00ebrkon k\u00ebshill\u00eb duke i th\u00ebn\u00eb: Ky \u00ebsht\u00eb mendimi im sipas informacioneve q\u00eb ti m\u2019i ke dh\u00ebn\u00eb. Mendimi im mbetet i varur nga personaliteti, nga m\u00ebnyra e t\u00eb menduarit tim dhe nga madh\u00ebsia e informacioneve q\u00eb i mora rreth tem\u00ebs. Q\u00eb n\u00ebnkupton se kjo t\u00eb ngarkon m\u00eb tep\u00ebr me p\u00ebrgjegj\u00ebsi p\u00ebr marrjen e vendimit.<\/p>\n
– Po ashtu m\u00ebsova se atij q\u00eb m\u00eb konsulton, t\u2019ia prezantoj m\u00eb shum\u00eb se nj\u00eb zgjidhje, sidomos kur situata \u00ebsht\u00eb e till\u00eb q\u00eb p\u00ebrshtatet t\u00eb jepen disa zgjidhje, t\u00eb jet\u00eb i mundsh\u00ebm zbatimi dhe krahasimi n\u00eb t\u00eb mes tyre. Pastaj ia qart\u00ebsoj rrjedhojat p\u00ebr \u00e7do zgjidhje. Nga k\u00ebndv\u00ebshtrimi im kjo \u00ebsht\u00eb shum\u00eb me r\u00ebnd\u00ebsi, sepse personit ia ngarkon pasojat e vendimmarrjes s\u00eb tij. Po ashtu kjo ndihmon n\u00eb zhvillimin e t\u00eb menduarit te njer\u00ebzit dhe i rrit aft\u00ebsit\u00eb e tyre t\u00eb ken\u00eb vet\u00ebbesim n\u00eb vendimmarrje.<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
U nisa p\u00ebr udh\u00ebtim. Para se t\u00eb hipja n\u00eb aeroplan, m\u00eb telefonoi nj\u00eb vajz\u00eb. Pyetja e saj ishte rreth nj\u00eb personi t\u00eb s\u00ebmur\u00eb psiqikisht, i cili po kurohej me ila\u00e7e p\u00ebr s\u00ebmundjen e tij dhe ky person n\u00ebse shkon ta k\u00ebrkoj\u00eb ndonj\u00eb vajz\u00eb p\u00ebr fejes\u00eb, a do t\u00eb duhej ta lajm\u00ebronte familjen e vajz\u00ebs p\u00ebr gjendjen e tij sh\u00ebndet\u00ebsore, duke marr\u00eb parasysh faktin se s\u00ebmundja e tij llogaritet e met\u00eb.<\/p>\n
P\u00ebrgjigjja ime ishte: Po, detyrohet ta lajm\u00ebroj\u00eb familjen n\u00ebse ata nuk jan\u00eb t\u00eb njoftuar paraprakisht me gjendjen e tij.<\/p>\n
Vajza m\u00eb tha: \u201cUn\u00eb jam e martuar me nj\u00eb person t\u00eb sprovuar me s\u00ebmundje psikike. Ai, para se t\u00eb vinte ta k\u00ebrkonte dor\u00ebn time p\u00ebr fejes\u00eb, \u00ebsht\u00eb konsultuar me ty se a duhej t\u2019i tregonte familjes s\u00eb vajz\u00ebs p\u00ebr gjendjen e tij! Ti i ke th\u00ebn\u00eb se nuk e ka t\u00eb patjet\u00ebrsueshme ta lajm\u00ebroj\u00eb familjen time.\u201d<\/p>\n
Fjal\u00ebt e saj m\u00eb ran\u00eb si rrufe mbi kok\u00eb, u shtanga dhe u trondita, nuk dija si t\u2019i p\u00ebrgjigjesha dhe \u00e7far\u00eb t\u2019i thosha. Isha nisur p\u00ebr n\u00eb udh\u00ebtim dhe nuk kisha as koh\u00eb t\u2019i mendoja mir\u00eb fjal\u00ebt e saj, nd\u00ebrkoh\u00eb i thash\u00eb: Nuk m\u00eb kujtohet q\u00eb kjo ka ndodhur, sepse q\u00ebndrimi im p\u00ebr raste t\u00eb tilla \u00ebsht\u00eb i njohur dhe i qart\u00eb. Un\u00eb njeriun me s\u00ebmundje psikike e llogaris me t\u00eb meta, k\u00ebshtu q\u00eb shum\u00eb njer\u00ebz n\u00ebse e din\u00eb se ka probleme t\u00eb tilla, nuk ia japin vajz\u00ebn e tyre p\u00ebr grua.<\/p>\n
M\u2019i tha nj\u00eb s\u00ebr\u00eb fjal\u00ebsh qortimi, e la t\u00eb gjith\u00eb fajin mbi mua p\u00ebr at\u00eb q\u00eb i ndodhi dhe papritur ma mbylli telefonat\u00ebn.<\/p>\n
Dynjaja mu soll rreth e rrotull, ndjeva dhembje t\u00eb madhe dhe u ngushtova. Si mundem q\u00eb un\u00eb t\u00eb jem shkak p\u00ebr vuajtjen e k\u00ebsaj vajze?! U mundova ta kujtoja rastin se me t\u00eb v\u00ebrtet\u00eb a kishte ndodhur kjo prej meje. Nuk m\u00eb kujtohej gj\u00eb. Ajo q\u00eb e di p\u00ebr veten \u00ebsht\u00eb se harroj shum\u00eb, megjithat\u00eb, prap\u00ebseprap\u00eb, n\u00ebse mua nuk m\u00eb kujtohet rasti, kjo s\u2019do t\u00eb thot\u00eb se patjet\u00ebr rasti nuk ka ndodhur.<\/p>\n
Ky lloj i gabimit \u00ebsht\u00eb prej atij lloji q\u00eb nuk mund t\u00eb p\u00ebrmir\u00ebsohet, nd\u00ebrsa k\u00ebrkimfalja n\u00eb k\u00ebt\u00eb rast nuk ka ndonj\u00eb vler\u00eb, ngase k\u00ebrkimfalja nuk i leht\u00ebson gjurm\u00ebt e problemit, bile mund t\u2019i shtoj\u00eb n\u00eb shpirtin e njeriut.<\/p>\n
Kjo ngjarje ma kujtoi rastin e nj\u00eb t\u00eb riu i cili nuk e p\u00ebrmbante veten dhe nuk i kontrollonte dot l\u00ebvizjet e tij. Rasti pati ndodhur n\u00eb nj\u00eb dasm\u00eb n\u00eb prezenc\u00ebn time. At\u00eb nat\u00eb v\u00ebllai i t\u00eb porsamartuarit kishte veshur veshje q\u00eb i p\u00ebrshtatej rastit, nd\u00ebrkoh\u00eb ky i riu i cili nuk rrinte rehat, u p\u00ebrplas me personin q\u00eb i bartte gotat e \u00e7ajit dhe t\u00eb gjitha ato ran\u00eb mbi v\u00ebllan\u00eb e t\u00eb porsamartuarit. P\u00ebr t\u2019u befasuar ishte q\u00ebndrimi i t\u00eb riut, ve\u00e7 u kthye kah i v\u00ebllai i t\u00eb porsamartuarit dhe me shum\u00eb ftoh\u00ebsi i tha: \u201cK\u00ebrkoj falje\u201d, dhe pastaj iku.<\/p>\n
V\u00ebllai i t\u00eb sapomartuarit u ndal dhe me gjith\u00eb habi tha: \u201c\u00c7far\u00eb \u00ebsht\u00eb kjo? A k\u00ebshtu me shum\u00eb thjesht\u00ebsi m\u00eb thot\u00eb \u2018m\u00eb fal\u2019 dhe pastaj ik?!\u201d<\/p>\n
Llogaris q\u00eb rasti im me vajz\u00ebn nuk ishte m\u00eb pak i keq se rasti i k\u00ebtij t\u00eb riu, bile rasti im ishte m\u00eb i r\u00ebnd\u00eb, sepse kulmi i d\u00ebmit t\u00eb tij ishte q\u00eb v\u00ebllai i t\u00eb sapomartuarit t\u2019i nd\u00ebrronte rrobat q\u00eb ishin p\u00ebrlyer me \u00e7aj, nd\u00ebrsa un\u00eb me k\u00ebshill\u00ebn dhe mendimin tim, ndoshta, kam qen\u00eb shkaktar ta shkat\u00ebrroj nj\u00eb familje dhe ta shkat\u00ebrroj jet\u00ebn e nj\u00eb vajze e cila u martua me nj\u00eb t\u00eb s\u00ebmur\u00eb psikik. Po supozojm\u00eb q\u00eb pas martes\u00ebs s\u00eb saj ka arritur t\u00eb ndahet prej tij, megjithat\u00eb mund\u00ebsit\u00eb e saj p\u00ebr martes\u00eb me dik\u00eb tjet\u00ebr do t\u00eb ishin m\u00eb t\u00eb vogla.<\/p>\n
Koha po ecte n\u00eb aeroplan, a un\u00eb i p\u00ebrjetoja dhembjet e problemit dhe po mundohesha t\u2019i rezistoja m\u00ebrzis\u00eb. Pasi zbrita nga aeroplani, ia d\u00ebrgova vajz\u00ebs nj\u00eb mesazh, i k\u00ebrkova falje dhe i tregova se k\u00ebrkimfalja ime p\u00ebr rastin e saj nuk mjaftonte. Edhe nj\u00eb her\u00eb ia v\u00ebrtetova fjal\u00ebt se nuk m\u00eb kujtohej q\u00eb ndokujt i kisha th\u00ebn\u00eb ashtu, megjithat\u00eb n\u00ebse kishte dal\u00eb di\u00e7ka e till\u00eb prej meje, nuk mund t\u00eb ket\u00eb qen\u00eb m\u00eb shum\u00eb se nj\u00eb k\u00ebndv\u00ebshtrim dhe interpretim imi. Mesazhin q\u00eb ia d\u00ebrgova, nuk ma ktheu.<\/p>\n
– Nga natyra jam i till\u00eb q\u00eb kur konsultohem p\u00ebr raste t\u00eb ndjeshme, nuk anoj t\u00eb marr vendime t\u00eb guximshme, sikur t\u2019i them dikujt ta divorcoj\u00eb gruan e tij, apo ta drejtoj\u00eb gruan q\u00eb t\u00eb k\u00ebrkoj\u00eb divorc nga burri i saj, p\u00ebrve\u00e7 n\u00eb raste t\u00eb rralla kur e shoh domosdoshm\u00ebri si n\u00eb rastet e tradhtis\u00eb dhe t\u00eb ngjashmeve me t\u00eb. N\u00eb shumic\u00ebn e rasteve kujdesem t\u00eb mos e jap mendimin e prer\u00eb. P\u00ebr at\u00eb q\u00eb k\u00ebrkon nga un\u00eb ta k\u00ebshilloj, kjo nuk \u00ebsht\u00eb nga soji i tradhtis\u00eb, mir\u00ebpo mendimi i rrept\u00eb i ka pasojat e veta. Kur e k\u00ebshillon gruan t\u00eb b\u00ebj\u00eb durim me burrin e saj apo e k\u00ebshillon burrin t\u00eb b\u00ebj\u00eb durim me gruan e tij, edhe n\u00ebse k\u00ebshilla \u00ebsht\u00eb e gabuar n\u00eb k\u00ebt\u00eb rast, prap\u00ebseprap\u00eb pasojat i ka m\u00eb t\u00eb lehta se ta k\u00ebshillosh t\u00eb divorcohen.<\/p>\n
E nj\u00ebjta gj\u00eb \u00ebsht\u00eb kur nj\u00eb person konsultohet me ty p\u00ebr ta braktisur pun\u00ebn e tij apo p\u00ebr marrjen e nj\u00eb hapi t\u00eb ri n\u00eb jet\u00ebn e tij, ti duhet t\u00eb matesh mir\u00eb para se t\u00eb jap\u00ebsh mendim t\u00eb guximsh\u00ebm, sepse ka mund\u00ebsi t\u00eb ndikoj\u00eb p\u00ebr t\u00eb keq n\u00eb jet\u00ebn dhe t\u00eb ardhmen e tij.<\/p>\n
M\u00eb m\u00ebrziti shum\u00eb rasti i asaj vajze. Mendja m\u00eb rrinte aty dhe nuk po gjeja qet\u00ebsi. Derisa nj\u00eb dit\u00eb m\u00eb telefonoi t\u00eb m\u00eb k\u00ebrkonte falje dhe m\u00eb tha: \u201cE zbulova se nuk kishte qen\u00eb ashtu si mendoja, burri e pranoi dhe ma v\u00ebrtetoi se gjat\u00eb konsultimit me ty i ke th\u00ebn\u00eb se patjet\u00ebr duhet ta lajm\u00ebrosh familjen e vajz\u00ebs p\u00ebr gjendjen t\u00ebnde sh\u00ebndet\u00ebsore, megjithat\u00eb ai nuk ka punuar sipas k\u00ebshill\u00ebs sate.\u201d<\/p>\n
Fjal\u00ebt e saj ma larguan breng\u00ebn derisa mora frym\u00eb lirsh\u00ebm dhe thash\u00eb: Elhamdulilah (Fal\u00ebnderimi i takon Allahut)! Un\u00eb k\u00ebt\u00eb e di p\u00ebr veten dhe p\u00ebr k\u00ebt\u00eb \u00e7\u00ebshtje k\u00ebshtu mendoj. Vajz\u00ebn nuk e faj\u00ebsova fare p\u00ebr asnj\u00eb fjal\u00eb q\u00eb ma drejtoi, sepse, n\u00eb t\u00eb v\u00ebrtet\u00eb, po t\u00eb ishte kjo gj\u00eb ashtu si ajo mendonte, do t\u2019i kisha merituar m\u00eb shum\u00eb se ato fjal\u00eb q\u00eb m\u2019i tha.<\/p>\n
K\u00ebtu n\u00eb k\u00ebt\u00eb rast un\u00eb nuk pata asnj\u00eb faj, mir\u00ebpo si ndodhi m\u00eb tronditi shum\u00eb, derisa m\u00eb futi n\u00eb nj\u00eb pozit\u00eb t\u00eb mendoja q\u00eb kam r\u00ebn\u00eb n\u00eb gabim t\u00eb r\u00ebnd\u00eb q\u00eb nganj\u00ebher\u00eb bien disa. B\u00ebhet fjal\u00eb p\u00ebr \u00e7\u00ebshtjen e konsultimit q\u00eb disa nuk e marrin me seriozitet; p\u00ebr personin q\u00eb k\u00ebrkon k\u00ebshill\u00eb prej atij q\u00eb di, nd\u00ebrsa ky e d\u00ebgjon k\u00ebshill\u00ebn n\u00eb gjendje t\u00eb pap\u00ebrshtatshme dhe m\u00eb pas ngutet n\u00eb dh\u00ebnien e mendimit t\u00eb tij. E jep mendimin e tij duke ecur rrug\u00ebs, duke bler\u00eb, duke shfletuar lib\u00ebr, apo duke folur me shok\u00ebt e tij, k\u00ebshtu q\u00eb nuk i mendon mir\u00eb pasojat e mendimit q\u00eb e jep dhe gjurm\u00ebt e tij se si ndikojn\u00eb tek t\u00eb tjer\u00ebt.<\/p>\n
Ai q\u00eb e merr k\u00ebshill\u00ebn, ka besim t\u00eb madh te fjala e atij q\u00eb e jep k\u00ebshill\u00ebn, derisa e pranon pa e menduar apo pa e diskutuar at\u00eb n\u00eb shenj\u00eb respekti dhe besimi t\u00eb plot\u00eb p\u00ebr mendimin e k\u00ebshilluesit dhe p\u00ebrvoj\u00ebn s\u00eb tij t\u00eb gjat\u00eb.<\/p>\n
Ky fakt e ngarkon k\u00ebshilluesin me p\u00ebrgjegj\u00ebsi t\u00eb madhe, n\u00eb ve\u00e7anti, kur jan\u00eb n\u00eb pyetje mendimet e rrepta dhe situatat e ndjeshme. K\u00ebshilluesi duhet t\u00eb jet\u00eb i guximsh\u00ebm q\u00eb t\u00eb k\u00ebrkoj\u00eb koh\u00eb p\u00ebr t\u00eb menduar m\u00eb mir\u00eb (rreth konsult\u00ebs q\u00eb ia b\u00ebri personi) apo edhe t\u00eb k\u00ebrkoj\u00eb falje e mos t\u00eb jap\u00eb mendim fare.<\/p>\n
– Prej k\u00ebtij rasti m\u00ebsova se duhet ta d\u00ebgjoj mir\u00eb at\u00eb q\u00eb k\u00ebrkon t\u00eb konsultohet, t\u00eb ndalem gjat\u00eb para se t\u00eb jap \u00e7far\u00ebdolloj mendimi, t\u2019i marr parasysh detajet q\u00eb ndikojn\u00eb n\u00eb dh\u00ebnien e mendimit dhe t\u00eb pyes p\u00ebr to para se t\u2019ia paraqes mendimin tim atij q\u00eb k\u00ebrkon konsult\u00eb.<\/p>\n
– Dhe m\u00ebsova ta ngarkoj me p\u00ebrgjegj\u00ebsi at\u00eb q\u00eb k\u00ebrkon k\u00ebshill\u00eb duke i th\u00ebn\u00eb: Ky \u00ebsht\u00eb mendimi im sipas informacioneve q\u00eb ti m\u2019i ke dh\u00ebn\u00eb. Mendimi im mbetet i varur nga personaliteti, nga m\u00ebnyra e t\u00eb menduarit tim dhe nga madh\u00ebsia e informacioneve q\u00eb i mora rreth tem\u00ebs. Q\u00eb n\u00ebnkupton se kjo t\u00eb ngarkon m\u00eb tep\u00ebr me p\u00ebrgjegj\u00ebsi p\u00ebr marrjen e vendimit.<\/p>\n
– Po ashtu m\u00ebsova se atij q\u00eb m\u00eb konsulton, t\u2019ia prezantoj m\u00eb shum\u00eb se nj\u00eb zgjidhje, sidomos kur situata \u00ebsht\u00eb e till\u00eb q\u00eb p\u00ebrshtatet t\u00eb jepen disa zgjidhje, t\u00eb jet\u00eb i mundsh\u00ebm zbatimi dhe krahasimi n\u00eb t\u00eb mes tyre. Pastaj ia qart\u00ebsoj rrjedhojat p\u00ebr \u00e7do zgjidhje. Nga k\u00ebndv\u00ebshtrimi im kjo \u00ebsht\u00eb shum\u00eb me r\u00ebnd\u00ebsi, sepse personit ia ngarkon pasojat e vendimmarrjes s\u00eb tij. Po ashtu kjo ndihmon n\u00eb zhvillimin e t\u00eb menduarit te njer\u00ebzit dhe i rrit aft\u00ebsit\u00eb e tyre t\u00eb ken\u00eb vet\u00ebbesim n\u00eb vendimmarrje.<\/p>\n
Dr. Muhamed Duvejsh<\/p>\n
Nga arabishtja: Irfan Jahiu<\/p>\n
Pjes\u00eb nga libri: \u201cGabimet m\u00eb m\u00ebsuan\u201d<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
U nisa p\u00ebr udh\u00ebtim. Para se t\u00eb hipja n\u00eb aeroplan, m\u00eb telefonoi nj\u00eb vajz\u00eb. Pyetja e saj ishte rreth nj\u00eb personi t\u00eb s\u00ebmur\u00eb psiqikisht, i cili po kurohej me ila\u00e7e p\u00ebr s\u00ebmundjen e tij dhe ky person n\u00ebse shkon ta k\u00ebrkoj\u00eb ndonj\u00eb vajz\u00eb p\u00ebr fejes\u00eb, a do t\u00eb duhej ta lajm\u00ebronte familjen e vajz\u00ebs p\u00ebr […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":4,"featured_media":5894,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[5,6,67,23],"tags":[],"class_list":{"0":"post-5893","1":"post","2":"type-post","3":"status-publish","4":"format-standard","5":"has-post-thumbnail","7":"category-c95-ahlak","8":"category-c96-davet","9":"category-te-zgjedhura","10":"category-c89-urtesi"},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/shkollaislame.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5893","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/shkollaislame.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/shkollaislame.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/shkollaislame.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/4"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/shkollaislame.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=5893"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/shkollaislame.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5893\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":5895,"href":"https:\/\/shkollaislame.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5893\/revisions\/5895"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/shkollaislame.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/5894"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/shkollaislame.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=5893"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/shkollaislame.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=5893"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/shkollaislame.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=5893"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}