– A \u00ebsht\u00eb e v\u00ebrtet\u00eb se periudha e pubertetit \u00ebsht\u00eb periudha e lajthitjes dhe e devijimit?<\/p>\n
* Jo, asnj\u00ebher\u00eb dhe assesi, biri im! Kur i riu e arrin k\u00ebt\u00eb faz\u00eb t\u00eb jet\u00ebs, ashtu si rriten tek ai epshi dhe pasionet, rritet edhe animi i tij nga fetaria dhe kthimi nga Allahu. K\u00ebt\u00eb natyrshm\u00ebri Allahu e mbolli n\u00eb shpirtin e njeriut t\u00eb funksionoj\u00eb me fillimin e periudh\u00ebs s\u00eb pubertetit.<\/p>\n
Ata q\u00eb jetojn\u00eb n\u00eb humbje e devijim, jan\u00eb pik\u00ebrisht ata q\u00eb e refuzojn\u00eb fen\u00eb e Allahut dhe jepen pas d\u00ebshirave t\u00eb epsheve. Sikur ta meditoje jet\u00ebp\u00ebrshkrimin e sahab\u00ebve kur ishin n\u00eb k\u00ebt\u00eb mosh\u00eb, besoj se ky realitet do t\u00eb qart\u00ebsohej me shum\u00eb \u00e7ilt\u00ebrsi.<\/p>\n
– Babi im! P\u00ebrse shohim sot shum\u00eb t\u00eb rinj t\u00eb mosh\u00ebs madhore q\u00eb jan\u00eb mendjeleht\u00eb dhe labil\u00eb?<\/p>\n
* Biri im, rinia n\u00ebnkupton fuqi dhe gjall\u00ebri. N\u00ebse nuk e shfryt\u00ebzojn\u00eb fuqin\u00eb e tyre n\u00eb gj\u00ebra t\u00eb dobishme, vetja do t\u2019i angazhoj\u00eb q\u00eb fuqin\u00eb ta harxhojn\u00eb n\u00eb arg\u00ebtim dhe gj\u00ebra t\u00eb kota, pa i menduar pasojat e m\u00ebvonshme. N\u00ebse nefsin nuk e angazhon me n\u00ebnshtrime, ai do t\u00eb t\u00eb angazhoj\u00eb me gjynahe.<\/p>\n
N\u00eb t\u00eb kaluar\u00ebn t\u00eb rinjt\u00eb angazhoheshin me ambicie t\u00eb larta, si: lufta n\u00eb rrug\u00ebn e Allahut, k\u00ebrkimi i dijes e gj\u00ebra t\u00eb tjera t\u00eb dobishme. Madje, edhe n\u00eb shoq\u00ebrit\u00eb fshatare, q\u00eb zakonisht mb\u00ebshteten n\u00eb mundin e djemve t\u00eb tyre, t\u00eb rinjt\u00eb punonin me familjet e tyre n\u00eb fusha e bag\u00ebti, e shum\u00eb pun\u00eb t\u00eb tjera t\u00eb dobishme. N\u00eb shoq\u00ebri t\u00eb tilla nuk e gjen shum\u00eb t\u00eb theksuar problemin q\u00eb e p\u00ebrmende.<\/p>\n
– Babi im! Disa t\u00eb rinj shfaqin arroganc\u00eb dhe vrazhd\u00ebsi n\u00eb raport me prind\u00ebrit e tyre e rrall\u00ebher\u00eb pajtohen me ta n\u00eb mendime e t\u2019u p\u00ebrgjigjen k\u00ebrkesave t\u00eb tyre! P\u00ebrse e b\u00ebjn\u00eb k\u00ebt\u00eb dhe a ka lidhje kjo sjellje me k\u00ebt\u00eb periudh\u00eb q\u00eb e p\u00ebrjetojm\u00eb?<\/p>\n
* Po, biri im! Shum\u00eb t\u00eb rinj i sheh tek k\u00ebmb\u00ebngulin n\u00eb mendimin e tyre pik\u00ebrisht n\u00eb k\u00ebt\u00eb periudh\u00eb, ashtu si e p\u00ebrmende edhe vet\u00eb. E v\u00ebren se i kund\u00ebrshton prind\u00ebrit dhe i kund\u00ebrshton m\u00ebsuesit. Mendon se vet\u00ebm ai e ka mir\u00eb. Prej shkaqeve kryesore q\u00eb e shkaktojn\u00eb k\u00ebt\u00eb reagim \u00ebsht\u00eb ndjenja e t\u00eb riut se ai \u00ebsht\u00eb b\u00ebr\u00eb burr\u00eb dhe se ai nuk llogaritet m\u00eb f\u00ebmij\u00eb si m\u00eb her\u00ebt, k\u00ebshtu q\u00eb \u00e7donj\u00ebri duhet ta d\u00ebgjoj\u00eb e ta respektoj\u00eb mendimin e tij. Me t\u00eb duhet t\u00eb sillen si me nj\u00eb burr\u00eb.<\/p>\n
Jan\u00eb dy \u00e7\u00ebshtje q\u00eb e shtojn\u00eb ashp\u00ebrsin\u00eb e k\u00ebtij problemi:<\/p>\n
– Ka nx\u00ebn\u00ebs q\u00eb sillen me arroganc\u00eb me m\u00ebsuesit e tyre: a ndikojn\u00eb t\u00eb nj\u00ebjtat shkaqe q\u00eb sapo i p\u00ebrmende?<\/p>\n
* Po, biri im, i nj\u00ebjti shkak e b\u00ebn t\u00eb riun t\u00eb rebelohet karshi m\u00ebsuesve dhe refuzon t\u2019u p\u00ebrgjigjet atyre.<\/p>\n
– Babi im! M\u00eb her\u00ebt tregove se nj\u00eb prej shkaqeve \u00ebsht\u00eb fakti q\u00eb prindi e sheh f\u00ebmij\u00ebn ende t\u00eb vog\u00ebl. M\u00eb intereson se prej nga buron kjo pik\u00ebpamje?<\/p>\n
* Jan\u00eb disa shkaqe, biri im. Disa burojn\u00eb prej prindit, disa prej vet\u00eb f\u00ebmij\u00ebs. N\u00eb k\u00ebt\u00eb tem\u00eb me r\u00ebnd\u00ebsi \u00ebsht\u00eb se ka f\u00ebmij\u00eb q\u00eb, kur hyn\u00eb n\u00eb periudh\u00ebn e pubertetit, me vete e bartin sjelljen e f\u00ebmij\u00ebs. Sheh se prioritetet i ka t\u00eb nj\u00ebjta me t\u00eb f\u00ebmij\u00ebs, loj\u00ebrat dhe sjelljet e tij n\u00eb sht\u00ebpi tregojn\u00eb se ende me mendje \u00ebsht\u00eb f\u00ebmij\u00eb. Nj\u00eb urt\u00ebsi thot\u00eb: \u201cNjeriu do t\u00eb jet\u00eb aty ku e pozicionon veten.\u201d<\/p>\n
Shkaku i dyt\u00eb: kur i riu e v\u00ebren q\u00eb jan\u00eb paraqitur tek ai shenjat e pubertetit, fillon t\u2019i duket vetja i madh dhe i aft\u00eb, edhe pse realisht n\u00eb k\u00ebt\u00eb periudh\u00eb atij i mungojn\u00eb shum\u00eb p\u00ebrvoja t\u00eb cilat ai q\u00eb \u00ebsht\u00eb m\u00eb i madh se ai n\u00eb mosh\u00eb i ka p\u00ebrjetuar n\u00eb jet\u00eb. N\u00eb an\u00ebn tjet\u00ebr, t\u00eb vjetrit e v\u00ebrejn\u00eb se mendimet dhe perceptimet e tij ende i ka t\u00eb kufizuara, prandaj e trajtojn\u00eb sipas k\u00ebtij parimi.<\/p>\n
Shkaku i tret\u00eb: p\u00ebrgjat\u00eb k\u00ebsaj periudhe i riu m\u00eb shum\u00eb i d\u00ebgjon k\u00ebshillat dhe udh\u00ebzimet e shok\u00ebve sesa k\u00ebshillat e prind\u00ebrve ose t\u00eb m\u00ebsuesit t\u00eb tij. N\u00eb p\u00ebrgjith\u00ebsi, dihet q\u00eb k\u00ebshillave t\u00eb shok\u00ebve u mungojn\u00eb p\u00ebrvoja dhe pjekuria. Shpeshher\u00eb ato e \u00e7ojn\u00eb t\u00eb riun t\u00eb anoj\u00eb nga rebelimi dhe e nxisin ta d\u00ebshmoj\u00eb veten para t\u00eb tjer\u00ebve.<\/p>\n
– P\u00ebrse n\u00eb sjelljet e t\u00eb riut dhe q\u00ebndrimet e tij ka rebelim dhe inat?<\/p>\n
* I riu sheh se sjellja e tij e v\u00ebrteton karakterin dhe e shfaq personalitetin e tij. Ai d\u00ebshiron q\u00eb n\u00ebp\u00ebrmjet sjelljes s\u00eb till\u00eb t\u00eb jap\u00eb sinjal q\u00eb nuk \u00ebsht\u00eb m\u00eb f\u00ebmij\u00eb i vog\u00ebl si\u00e7 e mendojn\u00eb t\u00eb tjer\u00ebt.<\/p>\n
– Por, un\u00eb, sa e di, k\u00ebto sjellje dhe metoda si zakonisht nuk dalin t\u00eb jen\u00eb t\u00eb suksesshme, madje e d\u00ebmtojn\u00eb vet\u00eb personin. A kam t\u00eb drejt\u00eb?<\/p>\n
* Po, biri im. I riu rrall\u00ebher\u00eb i realizon q\u00ebllimet e tij n\u00ebp\u00ebrmjet k\u00ebtyre sjelljeve. Madje, edhe sikur t\u00eb binden t\u00eb tjer\u00ebt se ato jan\u00eb t\u00eb sakta, prap\u00ebseprap\u00eb mund t\u2019i refuzojn\u00eb k\u00ebrkesat e tij. Njer\u00ebzit n\u00eb p\u00ebrgjith\u00ebsi nuk duan q\u00eb dikush t\u2019ua imponoj\u00eb k\u00ebrkesat e tij dhe ata ndiejn\u00eb se kjo metod\u00eb nuk p\u00ebrshtatet me moralin dhe edukat\u00ebn q\u00eb duhet ta posedoj\u00eb i riu.<\/p>\n
– Babi im, mir\u00ebpo un\u00eb po shoh disa t\u00eb rinj se po arrijn\u00eb disa prej k\u00ebrkesave t\u00eb tyre pik\u00ebrisht duke e p\u00ebrdorur metod\u00ebn e ballafaqimit dhe inatit me t\u00eb moshuarin?<\/p>\n
* Po. Ka t\u00eb rinj q\u00eb u plot\u00ebsohen k\u00ebrkesat me k\u00ebt\u00eb metod\u00eb, por dije se ato realizohen pa d\u00ebshir\u00eb. Njer\u00ebzve me nj\u00eb aspekt u imponohet ta b\u00ebjn\u00eb at\u00eb. Kjo i shtyn t\u00eb ken\u00eb mendim t\u00eb keq p\u00ebr k\u00ebt\u00eb person. \u00cbsht\u00eb e v\u00ebrtet\u00eb se ai arrin t\u00eb realizoj\u00eb k\u00ebrkesa t\u00eb kufizuara, mir\u00ebpo i humb njer\u00ebzit p\u00ebrreth tij dhe mendimin e tyre t\u00eb mir\u00eb p\u00ebr t\u00eb. Kjo \u00ebsht\u00eb shum\u00eb m\u00eb e shtrenjt\u00eb se k\u00ebrkesat e tij t\u00eb p\u00ebrkohshme.<\/p>\n
– At\u00ebher\u00eb, cila metod\u00eb \u00ebsht\u00eb m\u00eb e p\u00ebrshtatshme q\u00eb i riu t\u2019i bind\u00eb t\u00eb tjer\u00ebt se nuk \u00ebsht\u00eb m\u00eb f\u00ebmij\u00eb?<\/p>\n
* Fillimisht ai duhet t\u2019i bind\u00eb njer\u00ebzit se \u00ebsht\u00eb b\u00ebr\u00eb burr\u00eb me krejt kuptimin e fjal\u00ebs burr\u00ebri<\/strong>. K\u00ebt\u00eb e arrin duke e ndryshuar m\u00ebnyr\u00ebn e jetes\u00ebs, me \u00e7\u2019rast i l\u00eb pas vetes prioritetet e f\u00ebmij\u00ebve dhe k\u00ebrkesat f\u00ebmij\u00ebrore e jeton me moralin, sjelljen dhe baraspesh\u00ebn e burrave. Kjo ka nevoj\u00eb p\u00ebr p\u00ebrvoj\u00eb dhe kalitje.<\/p>\n Prej gj\u00ebrave t\u00eb r\u00ebnd\u00ebsishme \u00ebsht\u00eb ta p\u00ebrmir\u00ebsoj\u00eb moralin e tij me t\u00eb moshuarit, t\u2019i respektoj\u00eb e t\u2019i nderoj\u00eb ashtu si\u00e7 i ka hije pozit\u00ebs dhe mosh\u00ebs s\u00eb tyre.<\/p>\n Ai suksesin dhe ngritjen e tij n\u00eb radh\u00ebt e burrave duhet ta v\u00ebrtetoj\u00eb p\u00ebrgjat\u00eb arritjeve dhe suksesit n\u00eb vepra. Pra, ai ua v\u00ebrteton njer\u00ebzve burr\u00ebrin\u00eb e tij me vepra e jo me fjal\u00eb. K\u00ebt\u00eb gj\u00eb e realizon n\u00ebse kujdeset t\u2019i kryej\u00eb pun\u00ebt q\u00eb i ngarkohen atij. Ato duhet t\u00eb jen\u00eb t\u00eb p\u00ebrshtatshme p\u00ebr t\u00eb, sepse n\u00eb k\u00ebt\u00eb m\u00ebnyr\u00eb mund ta jap\u00eb maksimumin e tij dhe nuk shikon q\u00eb sip\u00ebrfaq\u00ebsisht ta kryej\u00eb detyr\u00ebn e dh\u00ebn\u00eb. Njer\u00ebzit prej tij nuk presin q\u00eb p\u00ebrgjegj\u00ebsit\u00eb t\u2019i realizoj\u00eb si\u00e7 i realizojn\u00eb t\u00eb moshuarit. Ata jan\u00eb t\u00eb k\u00ebnaqur prej tij me suksesin m\u00eb t\u00eb vog\u00ebl q\u00eb e arrin. Kjo i ndihmon q\u00eb njer\u00ebzit t\u00eb ken\u00eb mendim t\u00eb mir\u00eb p\u00ebr t\u00eb dhe t\u2019i hapen dyert p\u00ebr k\u00ebrkesat e tij.<\/p>\n M\u00eb pas mund t\u2019i parashtroj\u00eb k\u00ebrkesat dhe perceptimet e tij n\u00eb m\u00ebnyr\u00eb t\u00eb qet\u00eb, t\u00eb mb\u00ebshtetet n\u00eb dialog dhe debat t\u00eb logjiksh\u00ebm e t\u00eb qet\u00eb.<\/p>\n P\u00ebr ta arritur gjith\u00eb k\u00ebt\u00eb duhet ta ket\u00eb parasysh faktorin e quajtur koh\u00eb. Atij i duhet koh\u00eb derisa t\u00eb shfaqen gjurm\u00ebt e ndryshimit n\u00eb personalitetin e tij.<\/p>\n P\u00ebr fund, biri im, t\u00eb drejtohem ty: disa njer\u00ebz nuk i respektojn\u00eb mjaftuesh\u00ebm t\u00eb drejtat e t\u00eb riut, prandaj i riu n\u00eb k\u00ebt\u00eb rast duhet jet\u00eb i duruesh\u00ebm dhe t\u00eb shfaq\u00eb durim. Shqet\u00ebsimi i tij le t\u00eb fokusohet te realizimi i p\u00ebrgjegj\u00ebsive q\u00eb i ngarkohen atij m\u00eb shum\u00eb sesa te realizimi i k\u00ebrkesave t\u00eb tij. Besoj q\u00eb brenda nj\u00eb kohe t\u00eb shkurt\u00ebr, me lejen e Allahut, i riu do ta realizoj\u00eb at\u00eb q\u00eb e d\u00ebshiron.<\/p>\n Dr. Muhamed ed Duvejshi<\/p>\n Nga arabishtja: Irfan JAHIU<\/p>\n (Pjes\u00eb nga libri: \u201cBIRI IM, TASHM\u00cb JE B\u00cbR\u00cb BURR\u00cb\u201d \u2013 i p\u00ebrkthyer n\u00eb gjuh\u00ebn shqipe)<\/p>\n <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" – A \u00ebsht\u00eb e v\u00ebrtet\u00eb se periudha e pubertetit \u00ebsht\u00eb periudha e lajthitjes dhe e devijimit? * Jo, asnj\u00ebher\u00eb dhe assesi, biri im! Kur i riu e arrin k\u00ebt\u00eb faz\u00eb t\u00eb jet\u00ebs, ashtu si rriten tek ai epshi dhe pasionet, rritet edhe animi i tij nga fetaria dhe kthimi nga Allahu. K\u00ebt\u00eb natyrshm\u00ebri Allahu e […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":4,"featured_media":7466,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[5,4,6,67],"tags":[],"class_list":{"0":"post-7465","1":"post","2":"type-post","3":"status-publish","4":"format-standard","5":"has-post-thumbnail","7":"category-c95-ahlak","8":"category-c86-akide","9":"category-c96-davet","10":"category-te-zgjedhura"},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/shkollaislame.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/7465","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/shkollaislame.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/shkollaislame.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/shkollaislame.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/4"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/shkollaislame.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=7465"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/shkollaislame.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/7465\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":7467,"href":"https:\/\/shkollaislame.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/7465\/revisions\/7467"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/shkollaislame.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/7466"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/shkollaislame.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=7465"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/shkollaislame.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=7465"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/shkollaislame.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=7465"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}